It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
