My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
