there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
