I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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