Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
