Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The uberlube is also flammable
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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