I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
