Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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