You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
