If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
