Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
