Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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