No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
