I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
