There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
