Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
