i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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