hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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