why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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