): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
