Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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