Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
