I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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