What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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