Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
