Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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