i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
