marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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