apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
