what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
