And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
