a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
