I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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