Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
