i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
