You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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