But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
