Got a toothbrush?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
