I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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