genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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