He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
