Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
