Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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