and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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