Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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