I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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