and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
