porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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