we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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