I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
