My room smells like vodka and shame
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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