he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
