how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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