There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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