Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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