can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
