Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
my liver is dry heaving
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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