I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't think brook has ever known best
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
