It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
