she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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