i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
