ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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