I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
